I think a generational
care crisis is looming.
As we live longer and
have our children later, many are going to be caring for their own ageing parents
at the same time as their young infants.
I use my own situation
as an example. As an only child of an older divorced mother, I am now caring for
her through Alzheimer’s at the same time as having my own young family and returning
to work.
I am lucky that my
mother can afford good care, but I am still alone in dealing with what all of
that entails. And finding it a
particular challenge to balance the (frankly similar) needs of my babies with
that of my demented mother.
Take a simple everyday
task such as getting dressed. My mother and my son both struggle with buttons
and gloves. The difference is that my 5 year old son is learning a new skill, but my 75 year old mum is un-learning everyday skills everyday.
My mother was 39 when
she had me – seen as practically geriatric in the 1970’s - she had a successful career, was
having fun, and wanted to delay as long as possible. She told me she was 29 for years, so I wouldn’t give away her
real age away!
By contrast I was
actually 29 when I got pregnant, and felt like a gymslip mum in my middle-class
NCT class. Everyone else was in their mid to late 30’s with established careers.
I felt like I was just starting out.
In just a generation
my mother and I had both stretched the boundaries of our class defined
childbearing age. She was at the upper age by far and I was definitely at the
lower age. And in doing so we have
created a rather unfortunate double whammy.
There must be many
others in similar situations, and as our population ages and live longer, it
will only get worse. Also
exacerbated by family break up and fewer siblings in smaller families, which
means less people to share the load.
No comments:
Post a Comment