"People don’t change. They only stand more revealed."
Charles Olson
Charles, I couldn’t agree more.
As I observe my parents, my friends and
especially myself as I get older, I see the absolute truth of that statement.
The quirks, and neuroses, the prejudices, all become more and more pronounced. Just
ask my husband. We are all
becoming parodies of ourselves.
So what has Alzheimer’s, the great stripper
away of social convention and ultimate revealer, shown me about the essential
nature of my mum? Basically; she
is a really nice person. She smiles, she laughs, she compliments people, and
she gets on with everyone. All her carers love her.
And she is obsessed with draughts, being
cold, and removing the labels from clothes.
She admires beauty. Constantly stopping to tell young woman how gorgeous they are in the street. Which I hope they take as a compliment, and not stranger danger.
She can admire the same roses in her
neighbour’s garden with fresh passion each day – a new experience and a new joy
each time she forgets.
She likes children. Admiring their cuteness,
smiling and touching strangers’ children in cafes and shops. Whilst calling
mine a ‘rascal’, which is true, but I wish she could focus her affection a
little close to home.
But essentially Alzheimer’s has revealed
her to be a good person. And in contradiction to the bouts of depression she
suffered in earlier life, a happy one. A positive force. I know that Alzheimer’s
can make people aggressive and angry in its later stages, which must be incredibly
distressing, but as yet we have been spared.
When I search my soul; I wonder what will
be revealed. I hope I am like my mum.
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